This morning I sent a hate letter. One of two things will come out of this, either he'll read it and tell me what I want to know, or he won't notice/completely disregard it and keep talking to me as if nothing's wrong. (The latter is more likely.)

Of today, I've been so stressed due to having to finish the work of one book and read the entire book of another, I have yelled at my mom, my brother, a few of my friends, and my AC to shut up. I've cried because my brain literally stopped working and I could do nothing to further my progress on the damn work. (You must understand, I don't cry. I hate crying. The feeling is horrible and literally makes me emo. This work was so difficult for me to finish I became angry with myself and isolated myself in a corner screaming "I FUCKING HATE THIS I FUCKING HATE THIS!" over and over until I felt better.)

Finally, I finished. I went and printed the SIX PAGES of ELEVEN POINT FONT and showed my mom telling her I was thinking of committing suicide. She told me to read Night first. FML. So currently I am reading Night. I never realized how much I hate jews. (Sorry if you're a jew and reading this, just know that if you start talking about "God" I swear to god I will kill you with paper cuts from your bible. )

Me > Fel:
Me: I am about to go...
Fel: awww
Me: Through a meltdown. I want to STRANGLE EVERYONE HERE.
Fel: Don't worry, THAT'S NORMAL! Have some sad music!
Me: I can't! People keep trying to distract me! >.<
Fel: Tell them to fuck off?
Me: Okay.. Fuck off. ...*pssst* it's not working
Fel: Lol.

I had to deal with conversations like that today.

I literally wouldn't mind murdering someone right now.